Some time ago, a male friend and I were having a debate about women vs. men. Eventually, the conversation turned to sex. I wanted to know if men ever think about anything that is not sex. He said, “Yes, sports. But not as much as sex!”. After we both stopped laughing, he commented that women like sex just as much as men. I told him we don’t. I had proof: Multiple industries around sex for men such as strip clubs, escort services, phone sex lines, pornography, prostitution. He was not moved. I pointed to how men ruin their lives and careers for sex. He would not yield. I pointed out to him that men think sex is good even if it’s bad, but women don’t think that way. He still could not see my perspective. I thought for a moment and said, “Look, women like sex, but we don’t like it as much as men. Do you know what women like as much as men like sex? Shoes! We like shoes!!!” We had a good laugh. He finally understood.
I wanted to share this idea with women and expand on it to help you understand men a bit better.
You see, the right pair of shoes is EV-ER-Y-THAAANG! A new pair of shoes can be mood-changing and dare I say life-altering, if even for the short term. Every shoe girl and every girl who knows a shoe girl knows what I mean.
Case in point: I just scored the most perfect pair of shoes ever. I was browsing one of my favorite internet shops, not intending to buy anything but just browsing. I love to shop, even if I am just window shopping and sometimes I do it on the internet. (Hey, don’t judge me! You browse You-Tube, I browse the shops!) Men often browse for women both online and offline – sometimes I browse for shoes! Besides, stores usually don’t have my size so I shoe shop almost exclusively online. Anywho… I was browsing… and then it happened. I saw THEM.
The color popped out at me from the corner of the page to the corner of my right eye. It was my favorite color, aqua. How often do you find aqua shoes? Never! I turned my head to take them in with a full gaze. They were beau-ti-ful. OMG. I think time stood still. They were breathtakingly beautiful. I was beginning to fall in love with these shoes at first site. I may have held my breath. My heart beat a little faster.
“Check the heel height”, whispered my mind. I was so excited that I was whispering in my head, lol, while trying not to be too excited before I finished checking them out. “Be cool, Stay cool”, I told myself. I don’t wear very high heels. OMG under 3 inches! I took a deep breath. I needed to check them out from all angles. With cautious optimism, I clicked through the different views of the shoes: left, right, top, bottom, front, back. Every angle was as beautiful as the last. Ok, ok, this is looking good. I took another deep breath. What do these shoes cost? OH MY GOD – THEY ARE ON SAAAALE!!!!! I was sooo excited! I could afford them!
That’s the first phase of shoe buying for a shoe girl – discovery. The next phase, debate, is where my purchasing team – Responsible Me and Temptation Me – talk to me about whether we should buy the shoes. Temptation Me always speaks first:
- Temptation Me: Buy the shoes”
- Responsible Me: You don’t need more shoes.
- Temptation Me: You need THIS pair of shoes. These shoes are beautiful and HOT.
- Responsible Me: You have more shoes than you can wear. Save the money. Where will you put them? You have too many now!
- Temptation Me: It is your favorite color. They are not expensive. You DESERVE these shoes. You will earn the envy and respect of many women in these shoes. Men will think you are sexy. You have several things you can wear them with. The heel isn’t too high, they’re on trend and the color is breathtaking.
Responsible Me had to agree. The meeting was over. These shoes would be the crown jewel of my shoe collection. They were more cuter than kittens, puppies or babies. They were sexier than Vivica Fox and Halle Berry rolled into one. I got the shoes home, walked around in them for fit and planned clothes for our first outing. We would make our debut Saturday. Sort of like a first date.
Saturday came. It was the big day. I checked the weather and it wasn’t right for our outing!!! Sadly, we would have to reschedule our debut. I was bummed.
But I had another pair of very stylish shoes, pink ones, beautiful in their own way. So I hurriedly put together a matching outfit and wore the pink shoes. I got a lot of compliments that day. One place I went that day was to the store to make a return. As long as I was there, I looked around, not intending to but anything but just browsing. What was that flash of light? There… in the corner. OMG they are beau-ti-ful, a pair of silver heeled sandals. OMG. I think time stood still. They were breathtakingly beautiful. I was beginning to fall in love. The aqua shoes or even the pink shoes I was wearing were not even thoughts. I could only see and focus on the shoes in front of me. I was beginning to fall in love with these shoes at first site. I may have held my breath. My heart beat a little faster. “Check the heel height”, whispered my mind…
You get the idea. When shoes are tossed aside for the next beautiful pair, we don’t love the old shoes any less, but there is an excitement about new shoes. We are not replacing the old shoes, only adding new ones to the collection.
I think men experience something similar when it comes to women. Of course, women are people and not inanimate objects and therefore much more complex. Shoes don’t get hurt feelings or broken hearts.
As much as I love new shoes, there have been a few times in my life where I found that pair I wore all the time simply because they were the right fit. I wore them and forgot about all other shoes. I wore them every day and at all times. I rarely even looked at other shoes. I wore them until they wore out. The only reason I didn’t get the same shoes again is because I could not find them. That’s the woman we all want to be in a man’s life but, just like shoes, we may not be the right fit. Sometimes you slip on a shoe and it’s a completely perfect fit. And sometimes a shoe that is close but not exactly the right fit becomes a better fit over time. But at no time does a shoe with the absolutely wrong fit become the right fit.
Maybe we should put the same thought into choosing men that we put into shoes. We know shoes are what they are and can’t be changed much to make them fit. Make sure the man you want to fit with and put so much energy into is the right fit for you – before you take him home.